Partner
by Risa McDohl
Summary: He never wanted his existence to mean anything to anyone. He just wanted to do his part and die with honor. Duo was different, though. He wanted to do his part, and then he wanted to live. Heero x Duo shounen-ai.


**Title:** Partner  
**Author:** Risa  
**Pairing:** Heero/Duo  
**Rated:** K+  
**Disclaimer:** It'd be gayer if it were mine, believe me!  
**Summary:** He never wanted his existence to mean anything to anyone. He just wanted to do his part and die with honor. Duo was different, though. He wanted to do his part, and then he wanted to live.  
**A/N:** Sorry if my recollection of canon events is a little wonky. I don't have the greatest memory. If anything's off let's pretend it's a bit AU?

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In all the years Heero had been a soldier, the only constant he'd ever faced was inconsistency. Not a single mission of his went entirely according to plan, nor was any completed objective without its consequences. He hated to hurt and kill others. He hated to gaze into their eyes as the barrel of his gun was aimed between them, but when the fate of one person, or a thousand people was at stake it was simply more practical to eliminate the one problem.

Heero learned the hard way that he didn't live to be practical. He lived to protect. That was the objective his heart has assigned him without knowing it. As irrational as it was, he found himself unwilling to kill certain people. First it was Relena. She knew too much, and then she followed him all around to learn even more, thereby putting his objectives into more and more jeopardy. Everything about her was a danger to the road he was assigned, but when he chanced a gaze into her eyes, they were so filled with purpose, passion, uncertainty. Emotions. Life. In his hands he had the power to erase that life forever, but in his heart he just wasn't capable. He couldn't be the perfect soldier the world called for. He chose his heart over the fate of a thousand.

Then there were times where he was too caught up in his objective to see the larger picture. In a short amount of time he had not only failed to kill Relena, a civilian that knew too much, he committed the unforgivable sin of killing the innocent. Not long after he had taken out Noventa's ship, he decided his life must be erased. That kind of recklessness was unneeded in the war, so he self-detonated Wing and ended it all. The perfect soldier who couldn't carry his mission correctly was just a hazard to the world.

And yet another inconsistency botched his suitable death. He hadn't counted on compassion from another. He hadn't counted on being saved by Trowa Barton, a fellow pilot. He hadn't thought of his existence meaning anymore than a tool to bring about peace, to bring about a flawless new world. He wasn't trained to think much, just to act. Act wherever his emotions guided him. Practicality had abandoned him in this second chance at life he had been given. The only thing he could do was anymore was do things his way. Maybe he wasn't perfect, but as long as his existence meant something to others, he had no right to erase it, just the obstacles that would hinder his path.

Such an obstacle was displayed for all to see in a colony and worldwide broadcast. Duo Maxwell and his profile were on the screen. He had been captured, the fool. The guy had a reckless, unpredictable air about him. He was too cheerful, too whimsical, too trusting, and again way too reckless. That guy was even less suited for the life of a perfect soldier, and his existence would have been better off terminated. That kind of guy couldn't possibly be happy with this sort of life anyway. Heero thought he'd be doing him a favor by putting him out of his misery.

He thought he'd find Duo battered and unconscious in his cell, but he was very much awake and alive, even smiling. He spoke and grinned and even joked, as though accepting the gun barrel directed toward him as just another phase of his life awaiting him. A life in hell, perhaps. One thing he didn't do during their reunion was look into Heero's eyes, as if knowing the pain and confusion that it caused. Heero thought he had accepted the fate that was chosen for him, but when his eyes slid shut, so did Heero's objective. Duo didn't want to die. He didn't want to watch his own life be taken, because after life what was left? What good is a corpse? So keeping Duo alive was a risk. Keeping himself alive was also a risk, which he felt even now as his finger was petrified at the trigger. He had no business taking Duo Maxwell's life, not if he was to live on cursed with the same aching heart, the same impulsive nature, the same imperfection.

They escaped, and made it back to Earth at 10:00 hours. Duo was injured, so the two of them checked into a medical facility. They hadn't spoken much on the ride back, Duo taking the opportunity to have a much needed nap, though once he came to he and Heero discussed their next plan of action. Heero would be going back into space, while Duo would lie low for awhile and concentrate on getting better.

That was a completely predictable procedure, though Heero hadn't anticipated the conversation following afterward. The smile on Duo's face for starters was different somehow. It was soft, secret, like he had been hiding it for awhile. Heero observed him curiously, and then their eyes met. It was dangerous to look others in the eye. This was what made Heero a failure as a soldier. He never wanted his existence to mean anything to anyone. He just wanted to do his part and die with honor. Duo was different, though. He wanted to do his part, and then he wanted to live.

"By the way, thanks," he said, and he took a few steps toward Heero. Without knowing why Heero felt compelled to do the same. Duo had large eyes, full of life, energy, hope, dreams. These were things Heero had sworn off in his training. He didn't have a right to any of them. His objective was to be the perfect soldier. Any flaw in the mechanism was inexcusable.

And yet when Duo took his shoulders into his hands and his lips onto his own Heero was given something. He was given back his right to life, his purpose, his reason for fighting. He had to fight, because he needed to protect his important people, as well as the rest of the world. He also had to live, because his existence was important. His life meant something. He couldn't be perfect. He couldn't count on every mission going according to plan. He certainly couldn't ignore what his heart told him. He couldn't die, and he couldn't kill the innocent. For whom was a world of peace for but the innocent?

"Thanks for sparing my life, partner," said Duo, moments after pulling away. Heero already started to miss the warmth and tug of those lips, but they'd be his again as long as he stayed alive. As long as he followed his emotions, his life would have meaning. If Duo was his meaning, then they would meet again. The thought comforted Heero. He would do his best now. "Don't go dying on me, OK?"

"Sure thing," said Heero, his own smile tugging on the corner of his lips. "Partner."

E N D


End file.
